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Science backs up mother’s decision not to hit her son

Kat Gill

My husband and I agreed because black parents are raising a black boy. In a world full of atrocities against black boys and men, my son will not be exposed to violence for the first time. So we decided not to hit him. We have data-backed evidence to support our decision.

Dr. Aqua Boateng, a licensed psychotherapist and emotional wellness consultant, explained to me that Black parents are more likely to slap their children. Kids have more of a cultural event of spanking,” she says. “a 2015 Pew Research Survey Black parents were found to be more than twice as likely to regularly use corporal punishment and far less likely to not slap their children than white or Latino parents. Looking at this statistic through the lens of intergenerational trauma reveals that violence breeds violence.

The first years of a child’s life influence and inform how parents perceive the world around them.Studies Show Personality Traits Seen Early Grade 1 Why are so many millennial parents taking the easy parenting path? And, more specifically, why they’re opting out of spanking their children.

Gentle parenting is a softer approach to parenting. Respect children’s autonomy. It is a reciprocal relationship between parent and child, as opposed to the more traditional and authoritarian approach. This may appear to offer more options, ask more sensitive and dynamic questions about the child’s feelings, or encourage parents to be more vulnerable with their children. I was immediately drawn to this style of parenting. By showing honesty and transparency in my own actions, my son will naturally learn to give back.

If I had been outspoken when I screwed up, I would have given him the green light to do the same with me in the future. By removing harsh punishment, my son can know that his father and I will always be a safe place for him, even if he makes a mistake. It has a profound impact on social-emotional development, relationship dynamics, and ability to respond to threats, but there is no empirical evidence for its efficacy in discipline,” says Dr Boateng.

The science behind a mother's decision not to hit her son
Author Gloria Alamrew and her son Theo.

Dr. Olajide Williams, tenured professor of neurology and chair of the Department of Neurology at Columbia University, said: It can impair neurobiological development in key areas of the brain such as the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. Outward symptoms include abnormal behaviors related to threat reactions, emotional regulation, and decision making. ”

In the long run, Dr. Williams said, this important real-life issues In children’s fragile and developing brains, “long-term effects include response to threat, regulation of emotions, and depression, anxiety, dysfunctional behavior, substance abuse disorders, and other mental health disorders.” In fact, research shows that, unlike the brains that develop normally, the underdevelopment of the brains of children who have been spanked is similar to that of children who have been abused. Indistinguishable.

Dr. Boateng explains why young parents in particular are quitting spanking. “In this generation of parenting, millennials are learning more about their mental health and childhood. We have an opportunity to change the emotional dynamics.”

It has also been found that spanking hinders emotional development, creates barriers between parents and children, and may increase the likelihood of encountering violence in the future. It is not surprising that they have chosen to abandon it entirely in favor of

For the skeptics who argue that he was spanked as a child and was fine afterwards, Dr. Boateng leaves room for that experience as well. “Your experience is valid and it matters. Parenting can give us the opportunity to use what we have learned to understand [and] Discipline is no exception,” she says. “While you may feel adjusted in adulthood, you may not be fully aware of the impact of spanking on your adult life. If you could give them the chance to experience new ways to learn the loving guidance of their parents, wouldn’t you want to?”

For black parents, the most important thing for us is survival. Slavery, Sunset Towns, The Green Book, Horrifying Modern Examples, etc. Ahmad Arbery Black parents who were gunned down while jogging share their horrific horror. however, millennial generation Ensuring our children thrive inside and outside the home was a priority. You may not be able to control what is happening in the world, can Work to make sure your home is a safe place.

“Given the complex experience of race-related trauma within the Black community, spanking creates a unique barrier to the emotional development of Black children. , creates a multi-layered experience with treatment from someone you love, which carries into adulthood. It makes an impact,” explains Dr. Boateng.

Given all we knew at the time, and how science has become clearer on the subject, spanking should no longer be A discussion of parental preferencesThis is a matter of our children’s well-being. These children quickly grow into adults and act on the wiring and presets we gave them in raising them. I will do everything in my power to provide my son with the most robust toolbox of all time. And I see it already in our days together. Still a toddler, he is discovering and testing the boundaries of his little world. But take a moment to take a deep breath together, hold hands, and let him know that it’s not his mother who’s against him, but us on this journey together.

Gentle parenting does not seek perfection. Instead, we want the space to allow us to imagine new ways for both you and your baby. If I know that other methods are very likely to have negative consequences, shouldn’t I at least be obliged to try something other than spanking? With a rich and fertile mind, he is imaginative of myriad ways to handle the countless difficult scenarios that life places him in. Do—both for yourself and for others.



https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/science-behind-not-spanking-feature/ Science backs up mother’s decision not to hit her son

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